Tea and Dogs (For laws_of_dawes)

[call_me_snake]

Snake mixed up a batch of the tea herb Xena had given him when he was shot that helped ease him and get him to sleep. It was the least he could do. The offer of taking the gang out for a walk sealed the deal. He was stressed lately and just getting out for a walk with the dogs would be nice.

Snake loaded up Zena, Rusty, Daisy and Sarge in the Humvee and headed out. It was a short drive over to her place. Once outside he called up to tell Rachel he was outside. He let the four dogs out to explore the sidewalk while he waited. They all had collars but no leashes.

Comments

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

Rachel quickly smoothed her long hair into a ponytail, taking one last look in the mirror - cringing at the sunken bags under her eyes - before smiling down at Shadow. She attacked the leash to the dog's collar and trotted down the steps knowing she was never far behind from Rachel.

Opening the gates of her apartment complex, she spotted Snake's familiar defiant stance along with the four dogs. Smiling hesitantly, she waved at him before crossing the street to the other sidewalk.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

Snake waved and then whistled to bring his dogs over to sit otherwise they would've rushed her when they say Snake wave. However Daisy was wagging her tail like crazy.

Hey sweetheart.

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

Her hesitant smile broke into a full grin at his greeting. "Hi, Snake. Thank you for coming," she greeted brightly, her eyes flitting over to the enthusiastic dog at his side. Still holding on to Shadow's leash, Rachel squatted down to her knees and looked at her. "Now I know you're not Sarge, so which one are you?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

Snake smiled. No problem baby.

He introduced the dogs and then gave them the command that let them get up. Sarge and Zena hung back but the other two were all wagging tails and tongues. Snake reached down and stroked Shadow's head.

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

Rachel observed Shadow's reception of Snake. "She likes you," she commented with a soft smile. Their conversation had helped far more than she had realized, because she didn't feel quite as heavy in the shoulders as she did earlier in the afternoon. "She usually doesn't let anybody pet her. Then again, she probably remembers you."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

I do better with animals than people. Snake smiled and turned to look down the street. Which way do you usually go?

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

"This way." Rachel motioned him to follow her, heading straight to the park adjacent to her building. A stone pathway carved out down the middle, leading to a vast green field overlooking the faraway docks.

Shoving her hands into her coat pockets, she looked up at him briefly. "Sorry I sounded so - " pathetic, frightened, mousy, annoyingly withering "unsettled earlier."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

Snake started walking and his dogs stayed with them, not straying far.

We all get down at some point. Even I get my moments when things seem overwhelming. Snake smiled and patted her shoulder. You'll make it through.

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

Rachel fell in step with him, Shadow not far behind her. Something about having her beside Rachel always made her feel safer. "I will," Rachel assured him. "I - like you guessed - let my guard down. I was getting too confident that things were looking up. Harvey winning the election, getting engaged, getting a conviction to my latest case. It was all running so smoothly that now that this happened all at once it was...just that, overwhelming."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

There's this quote Xena used to tell me that she learned in Asia "The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved."

Snake smiled at her. I live that saying.

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

She laughed a little, bowing her head as she did so. Biting her lip thoughtfully, she answered, "I don't know what happened to me this time. I guess I just slipped. She...she sounds like she was a very wise woman."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

Don't worry about it. We all feel worried. Hell I used to get like that thinking I was a bad father.

Snake smiled sadly. She's an amazing woman. Hopefully you'll get to meet her someday.

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

She nodded with certainty - she really did understand, and she really did listen - before coming to a full stop. It was her favorite spot atop the grassy knoll of the park's hill. She sat down on it, waiting for him to follow, before asking hesitantly, "You think she'll be back?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

Snake sat down with her and let the dogs wander. He sighed and shrugged helplessly almost. I don't know. Maybe she'll come home on our anniversary like last year.

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

"Maybe she will," Rachel agreed quietly, watching the dogs run around freely, surprised they took to Shadow. "Hang in there, Snake. I know that's easy to say, but there's nothing else we can do, is there?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

I hope she brings our son back with her if she does. There were rare occasions when Snake seemed vulnerable. This was one of the.

No. I let her go home to be happy and to be free. No matter how much I miss her that's what matters.

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

It kind of broke her heart, to see a man so strong and put together look very lost. She had no words that would ever make a difference. Nothing that could make it better. So much of his life was filled with ghosts and anger, grievances and injustice, and there he was, still alive. Rachel remembered then and there she would never resent the life she got.

"I've been told that it never stops hurting. But it hurts a little less with time. And we learn to live with it. And maybe that's okay."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

No. It doesn't. Snake went quiet for a moment watching the dogs and pointedly looking away.

I have a photographic memory and Post Traumatic. Nothing ever dulls for me. Snake smiled a little though still sadly when he looked over at her. Yours though, yours'll get better with time.

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

She didn't know what to say to that. She would change so many things if she could, so he'd never have to go through what he goes through. But it never did any good, to wish for impossible things.

"I hope so," she said, a lopsided grin breathing life into her face - genuine, heartfelt, hopeful - "there is still so much to be done. So many promises I've made, so much that is still in need of saving. Ever since I was a little girl, Snake, seeing a better Gotham has been my ambition. I love it deeply. It's not past saving."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

I understand that. Snake looked over at her pushing away thoughts of his wife.

I grew up, raised to fight for America. My whole family was military in one way or another. When my squadron was betrayed I thought there was nothing left. Took sometime to remember a country isn't the people who lead it but what it stands for. Few idiots in power can't change that as long as people still believe.

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

"That's exactly it," she breathed, blinking back a swell of emotions. "What we stand for, what it's always stood for. I wanted to be a lawyer ever since I was ten. My childhood friend watched his parents get murdered. Wonderful people, who believed in what you and I do. Shot to death. It was senseless, and happening all around. I knew I had to make a difference, however small that difference it may be, but it was necessary that I do it. And as long as I remember that, I remember what I'm fighting for, I'll be okay. Shoulder it on."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

I've watched too many die. Snake sighed and pulled his legs up to lean on. I loved war. Thought it was all heroics and being important. We were clearing a Russian town once in a blizzard. We took up in a house and this little boy came walking out in almost nothing. I ran up to him. It was stupid. The boy was bleeding. His own people wired him with an explosive that would detonate when his pulse stopped. We tried to save the boy. He died two minuted after we got the bomb unwired.

Snake shook his head. Before that I never thought a government would ever turn on their own. That one moment burned me out. Never wanted to fight again. And here I am, still fighting.

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

Rachel swallowed thickly. Could see the vivid memory of his underneath her eyelids, and it was almost past bearing. "A woman was shot in the head just because she was standing next to me," Rachel said, looking down at her hands, fingers playing with each other like webs. "It was a warning sent for me, but she was standing so close she got it instead. My co-worker was killed in my office last month. A little girl I made a promise to concerning locking up her father, died inside a burning house because of said father."

"Each and every time this happens, there's this moment - it's very small, and very fleeting, but there it is - " she broke away, just a little. "Where I want to fold. And stop seeing. But here I am, still...fighting. Why do you think this is so?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

I know how that goes baby. After... Snake paused fighting back memories. After I was discharged they hunted down everyone I knew and killed them. If I talked to someone too much they'd die. Death isn't easy when it's close to you. Worse when you see it.

Snake shrugged thoughtfully. I don't know about you but I keep going because I know they want me to roll over and die. They want me to give up because I survived something they didn't want me to. No survivors is what it says in the classified shit. Taylor, myself and two others made it back. We've all suffered for not dying. Hell'll freeze over before I give them anything.

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

"Death is all around us," Rachel said, barely a whisper. Her hands fisted into the grass, shooting another glance at Shadow and the rest of them. Certain of their place, she focuses on her thoughts. "What happened to you is just another reason of what's wrong in this world, and why it's so important to change it. Why it needs people that care and will fight the good fight. And as long as you don't give them what they want then they don't win."