For true_writers 3. Go Insane

[call_me_snake]

3. Go Insane by Lindsey Buckingham

Two kinds of people in this world
Winners, losers
I lost my power in this world
Cause I did not use it

So I go insane
Like I always do
And I call your name
She's a lot like you

Two kinds of trouble in this world
Livin, dying
I lost my power in this world
And the rumours are flying

So I go insane
Like I always do
And I call your name
She's a lot like you

Goes along with this piece

Snake had thought about it often. His own little girl, dark hair, big eyes, maybe when he was younger. He thought about that life that was stripped away from him more often now and he couldn't decide why. He figured it was because he was older. Not just older, Snake could admit he was old.

When he was younger though, that dark haired little girl he'd have. The one that would've had a different world. No war, a father that wasn't an addict, a father that was sane and unbroken. He thought about her a lot. He wondered if his parents would've been there to see her. Snake wished they were. He wished he'd been there for her too. He'd have been 22 and at the end of his service to the military when she was born. It would've been a different life for both of them. So much would have gone differently. He would have seen her with both eyes instead of one. Her grandfather would've got to rock her in the chair his mother had for him when he was a boy. They'd have the things normal families passed on through the generations. She would never have had to face the huge void of his past where everything was burned away by betrayal.

Snake though could see her clearly in his arms. He knew her name and when she was born. He knew things from later too when she was ten in his lap to see her little sister as a baby. The amount of pain it would pass to just hold her back when he was young was beyond Plissken's means to understand. Still those big dark eyes haunted him as he held her. Those were dreams. They were long gone and out of his reach even with her in his arms. He was older than he imagined though for many years he couldn't see this happening. Instead of laughter as he held her the lack of cocaine pulled him deep into the dark depression that filled his thoughts.

"Papi?"

Snake looked down at her dark eyes and started to cry. He still saw that baby even if he'd never held her. He'd failed her and the rest just like the family he'd lost back when he should have been holding her for the first time.

"I'm sorry." Snake looked away from her because the same idea ate at both of them. She wished he was there and he wished he could have been. There were no words needed when she wrapped her arms around his neck. Snake held her tight like a tiny child curled in his lap despite the fact she was a full grown woman. Still some days she was that baby. She needed to be that for both of them. He knew she would be different if life had been the way he saw it. He would not be the same man either but none of that would ever change the fact that she was his little girl. He simply came too late. He missed those things she wanted, the things he wanted. There never was a first step, a first word, a first day of school. All there was for either of them was a fake made up memory of a young man in a military uniform with a tiny dark eyed baby girl. It wasn't real but it was a comfort for both of them to hide the pain behind. For the broken father and daughter it would have to be enough to pretend sometimes that the past had been something else.

Words: 584

Comments

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

*sob*

You just love tearing at the heartstrings.

Beautiful. <3

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

Thanks. Oh don't worry. I think Snake has it in for me today. Both of the prompts I wrote today he had me crying. LOL

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

Dude, ALL our pups hate us. Means we're doing our job. ;)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

I suppose it does. I just wish for once I could have a day of Snake Plissken fluff with no emotional overload. LOL

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

You and me both. :(

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

**Pets** Sorry he's such a intense mess. I can't help it.

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

We love him anyway! :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

He needs the love. Cranky old bastard.

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

Rachel's odd. She's endeared by cranky. Every time they get grumpier she just wants to give a bear hug.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

I think Snake is going to be worse for a while. His anniversary is in two weeks. :(

[rattle-thecages.livejournal.com]

Oh, noes. We'll be keeping an eye out for that!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

Well he already wrote the letter of doom. I just see him getting drunk out of his mind and being really grumpy like he was for her birthday.

[empirical_data]

Prompts where you end up crying are the best ones. Especially the ones where you're listening to sad music so you make that awful *huffhuffhuff* inhale and hope no one is watching.

I'm a sucker for sad daddy stories. I agree with her.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_call_me_snake_/]

Yeah they are good. They are the ones where it makes you glad to be in the room alone.

Oh good. Well I end up writing a lot of those unfortunately.