call_me_snake: (Father)
30.1 - 13 things you dislike that it seems everyone else likes.
1. Chewing gum
2. Ketchup
3. Mint. Especially mint flavored crap
4. Submissive women
5. Complaining
6. Being compliant
7. Modern pop covers of Classic Rock. Particularly te AC/DC and Zeppelin shit.
8. Cops, in general
9. Hats
10. Men's jewelery (Excluding wedding rings and a sensible watch or piercing jewelery)
11. Romantic Comedies
12. Golf
13. Sweat pants


30.2 - 13 perfect moments in your life and why.
1. The first time my dad tucked me into bed as a kid. After being without him for the first seven years of my life it was something to remember.

2. Out at base camp south of Moscow when Taylor and I were talking over the next morning's plans and Sophia crawled into my lap to get war. It was the first time I got to hug her and the look on Taylor's face was like he'd watch the cat catch the canary. Nothing like having the girl who supposedly hates you that you've been wanting for months to crawl inside your coat and curl up.

3. The moment I brought my first Harley onto campus and Taylor and I got on it for a dare to ride through some of the campus buildings.

4. Seeing Harker's reaction to that tape on the later press releases. Nothing like a job well done and watching the people who deserve it cringe in horror.

5. The first time they let me take a glider up for a surveillance mission all alone. I love to fly and being up there right at sunset sneaking around. Nothing like it.

6. The moment I realized it was ok to be close to someone again. Even if it went against my principles and was accidental. Katherine is the reason I have a family now, aside from the peopel being here.

7. Watching the ATCS go off and act like me. There is nothing to compare to the expression of a cop looking at a ten foot tall robot with armor plating, a bazooka and a Gatling gun that's just told them "Fuck off bastard. Call me Snake." in my voice. Sweet, sweet irony and revenge without lifting a finger.

8. Meeting Xena, everything about her in fact. Pretty self explanatory.

9. Hearing Evie tell me that I changed her life and might have saved it. She's my daughter. Doubt I need to explain that.

10.Bring my children home. I know this is more than one event but it's all the same.

11.Meeting Bria, everything about her too. Yeah, no explanation needed.

12.Delivering Mia and Steven. My first babies. Can't help it. I'm a dad.

13. The first time Cassie opened up enough to show me her wings. It took time to win her trust. That's when I knew I really had it.
call_me_snake: (Betrayed)
The day I got taken to New York Max without a fucking doubt. In case you people don't know what New York Max is I'll explain. After the war went south and those jackasses decided that gas was better than nukes the Commie bastards and ironically the American government bombed the living fuck out of New York City. Three million people gone gas crazy or died. The government walled off the whole damned island of Manhattan, set up guards and they just throw people in now. No trial. No questions. No nothing. they think you did wrong and in your ass goes.

I escaped that hellhole of a place. The day I was thrown in and had to do that shit for the bastards running that madhouse was like ten days, weeks. The shit you see in there is nothing a rational person should ever see. It's the shit that makes the word crazy look like child's play. I used to think life was crazy. Freewheeling around with the population at large you get some people you'd rather not meet. In there everyone is in that category. The best part is one half is cannibalistic and the other half just likes to kill.

They threw my ass in there with a survival holster, few rations, some meth and fucking explosives in my neck. Yeah you heard that bullshit. I spent 24 hours walking around with a watch strapped to my wrist in a fucking asylum the size of Manhattan because it was Manhattan that told me how many seconds I had until my neck exploded. You know how long a day goes when you keep looking at your watch? It's fucked.

That's how the day started. Was around ten at night when they jacked me. Said it was some sort of shit that would keep me from getting sick inside. Didn't trust the bastards but forced me to take the shit. Injected them in my neck the fuckers. Then dumped my ass in the prison to rescue the president. Last thing on fucking Earth I wanted to do.

The shit in that place. My welcoming committee was some fucking Indian with a piano wire going for my throat to get him a scalp and some dinner. Go from that to the fucking vultures picking through the plane wreckage for bodies like Night of the Fucking Living Dead, eating on the burned up bodies. The whole damned place is tore up in a way no rational mind does. Everything is overturned. Who the fuck overturns everything? Even in a damned riot people don't overturn everything. Sane people don't do that shit.

Met a girl in there and watched the damned crazies pull her into the floor and eat her alive. Still holding her hand when they started eating her legs. Fucked shit. The smell from the Crazies when they climb out of the sewers is like nothing I can describe. They're covered in sewer scum instead of clothes.

Had this damned tracker and found what those dicks in command thought was the president. Some fucking hobo with his vitals check on his wrist. God damned homeless bastards trying to knife me. Crazy bastards with no balls, literally, they castrate prisoners on a normal day. Lucky me they'd rather jack my neck with explosives. Got this guy, not half bad, crazy fuck went back into the prison for his damned cab they walled in it. Sanity is not part of the quota in that fucking place.

Best part? That god damned bastard Helmann was in there. Fucker left me in Kansas City to get caught. Almost worth being thrown in just to see his fucking face when I showed. Think he'd saw a demon or some shit. Highlight of my night was later watching that bastard step on a land mine and fly into a bloody mess. Shame about Maggie though. That woman, swear she killed her husband for her attitude but a sweetheart.

Helmann fucking doubled up on me and turned me over to the fucking Duke of New York. One more crazy son of a bitch. The only person crazier than a gas crazy is the bastard insane enough to try and control them and the bastard who manages to do it successfully. That fucker and Romero. He had this ghoul that he drug around with him. Crazy would be hard pressed to define him. Can't even describe the bastard he was such a freak. Duke fucking cracked me in the head with a tire iron but only after I got shot int he fucking leg with an arrow trying to rescue a president I'd rather kill. Harker should've been thanking God for those explosives. Without them I'd have shot him first.

The best part was still coming. Woke up to bastards prodded me with a crossbow. First thing I see when my head clears is some guy on a stretcher looks like he went into a wood chipper. Found out in a hurry why. Slag. The biggest son of a bitch I've ever seen. Threw me in a fucking ring with him and ball bats. Fucker broke my ribs. Then they replaced them with spiked bats. Just what the sane need to see. Makes you understand why the people in there are all crazy. No way not to be.

Climbed out of that fucking prison with 32 fucking seconds left before my neck blew out. Rescued their fucking president, got their bullshit conference crap. What does that son of a bitch commissioner make me do? Wait until I got five seconds before letting the doctors neutralize the explosives. I was too fucking exhausted when that shit was over.

You know though all long days got something good to them. Work that long and something good's about to happen. Only shame is I missed his face when Harker and Hauk learned I still had their precious tape. Always looked for security feed of that shit. never found it. Such a loss but I know it happened. That's a good enough end of that hell day.

Words: 1,000
call_me_snake: (Hauk and Snake)
Character Name: Snake Plissken
Origin: Escape From New York/LA
Word Count: 1252
Character’s LJ: [livejournal.com profile] _call_me_snake_
Rating: (just like the movies) PG-13 (for swearing and violence)
Note: This post contains spoilers for the end of Escape From New York.

00:01:39 and counting )


Continued here.
Crossposted to [livejournal.com profile] deviant_muses

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Snake Plissken

September 2013

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