On a bed of nails she makes me wait
Apr. 5th, 2006 09:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
call_me_snakeI have a picture,
pinned to my wall.
An image of you and of me and we're laughing and loving it all.
Look at our life now, tattered and torn.
We fuss and we fight and delight in the tears that we cry until dawn
You say I'm a dreamer, we're two of a kind
Both of us searching for some perfect world we know we'll never find
So perhaps I should leave here, yeah yeah go far away
But you know that there’s no where that I'd rather be than with you here
today
You ask if I love you, well what can I say?
You know that I do and if this is just one of those games that we play
So I'll sing you a new song, please don't cry anymore
and then I'll ask your forgiveness, though I don't know just what I'm
asking it for
She’d walked out again. He’d watched her, begged her to stay to be the bandage on his wounds but she had walked out again. He hit the cocaine and then sat staring at the door that sat just cracked. He couldn’t help thinking she’d never walk through that door again. His princess would never come back to make him feel like a king.
This was the third time she’d left. Third time’s a charm. For what? Snake wondered, for her to come back and never leave again or to never come back. After the past days the latter seemed to stick. All those words came back like knives every time he relived them. He had tried to apologize to hold her and she shoved him away. His touch disgusted her. Was that what she felt when their skin touched, disgust? It had gone on after and that was the wound he couldn’t heal. He had pleaded for help to be what she wanted and the words”get away from me, I hate you.” stuck in his head like a bullet. His eye didn’t hurt now nor did his ribs it was masked by the sword she’d plunged into his heart with those words. She was gone now and that blade kept twisting in his chest.
Snake couldn’t cry anymore but his head still buried in his hands and he shook, everything was there except the tears themselves. Why wouldn’t she stay with him? He’d tried everything even to the point of begging and crying. She’d broken him, broken his spirit, his pride. He knew what she thought when he said “I can’t live without you.” She thought it was a ploy to make her stay but it wasn’t. Snake knew he couldn’t live without her. She was his heart, his soul, the reason he went on and she walked away.
Laying back he felt the fur on his face. The coat she’d left. It smelled of her skin and the tears finally came. It had been weeks it seemed since that skin had touched him in love. She’d touched him; to hit him, to shove him but when he needed her embrace and begged for comfort to get him through that skin was cold. The pain spread from his chest. Snake remembered nights when they had spoke of devotion and forever. She wore his heart on her finger, a trophy that none had ever managed to take from him but she never spoke of it. Now she tried to take it off when they fought. Snake didn’t even know if she still loved him.
His face pressed into that fur. The smell of her skin would have to be his comfort. It was all he had anymore, memories of her comfort. Snake’s fingers wound into the fur; pulling it to his body he curled around it. He was crying for her. It seemed when he broke she attacked like he was a wounded animal. When he fell she kicked him and he fought to crawl back to her out of love. Nothing broke that love even now that she had broke his heart and left him alone, he still loved. He loved her as much as the moment he first saw her, first touched her, when he’d put that ring on her finger and vowed to never leave, to be a better man. That love still burned inside with the anguish, the bleeding wound that was left of his heart when she was through with him.
Snake left the coat intent on going out to find his princess and ask her to come home. Standing slowly he wavered gritting his teeth from the burn in his abdomen. He needed her and pain wasn’t going to stop him. He stumbled heading for the bedroom to dress and fell. Snake went down shaking. The seizures were coming again from all the cocaine. As his eye rolled back he cried out for her momentarily forgetting he was alone. The blood started to trickle from his nose dotting the carpet beside his face. It pooled in his throat and he coughed causing blood to spill across his lips. He called out to her again gurgling and choking on his own blood. That’s when he remembered the look on her face and her words. He needed her by his side to fight but she had left and with her his strength. Straining his broken and weak body he rolled to his stomach and the suffocation ceased. Snake lay gasping for air and watching the puddle form in the carpet. He was too weak to move and the exhaustion was taking control. The blackness came with a faded image one of a hand on his shoulder, a calm soothing voice telling him he would be alright, a kiss on the cheek. He prayed it would come before the darkness took over. Snake fought mumbling her name and again there was no reply as he slid into the inky darkness of unconsciousness.
Continued from here. During this one and before this one Lyrics "Hold Me Now" - The Thompson Twins
pinned to my wall.
An image of you and of me and we're laughing and loving it all.
Look at our life now, tattered and torn.
We fuss and we fight and delight in the tears that we cry until dawn
You say I'm a dreamer, we're two of a kind
Both of us searching for some perfect world we know we'll never find
So perhaps I should leave here, yeah yeah go far away
But you know that there’s no where that I'd rather be than with you here
today
You ask if I love you, well what can I say?
You know that I do and if this is just one of those games that we play
So I'll sing you a new song, please don't cry anymore
and then I'll ask your forgiveness, though I don't know just what I'm
asking it for
She’d walked out again. He’d watched her, begged her to stay to be the bandage on his wounds but she had walked out again. He hit the cocaine and then sat staring at the door that sat just cracked. He couldn’t help thinking she’d never walk through that door again. His princess would never come back to make him feel like a king.
This was the third time she’d left. Third time’s a charm. For what? Snake wondered, for her to come back and never leave again or to never come back. After the past days the latter seemed to stick. All those words came back like knives every time he relived them. He had tried to apologize to hold her and she shoved him away. His touch disgusted her. Was that what she felt when their skin touched, disgust? It had gone on after and that was the wound he couldn’t heal. He had pleaded for help to be what she wanted and the words”get away from me, I hate you.” stuck in his head like a bullet. His eye didn’t hurt now nor did his ribs it was masked by the sword she’d plunged into his heart with those words. She was gone now and that blade kept twisting in his chest.
Snake couldn’t cry anymore but his head still buried in his hands and he shook, everything was there except the tears themselves. Why wouldn’t she stay with him? He’d tried everything even to the point of begging and crying. She’d broken him, broken his spirit, his pride. He knew what she thought when he said “I can’t live without you.” She thought it was a ploy to make her stay but it wasn’t. Snake knew he couldn’t live without her. She was his heart, his soul, the reason he went on and she walked away.
Laying back he felt the fur on his face. The coat she’d left. It smelled of her skin and the tears finally came. It had been weeks it seemed since that skin had touched him in love. She’d touched him; to hit him, to shove him but when he needed her embrace and begged for comfort to get him through that skin was cold. The pain spread from his chest. Snake remembered nights when they had spoke of devotion and forever. She wore his heart on her finger, a trophy that none had ever managed to take from him but she never spoke of it. Now she tried to take it off when they fought. Snake didn’t even know if she still loved him.
His face pressed into that fur. The smell of her skin would have to be his comfort. It was all he had anymore, memories of her comfort. Snake’s fingers wound into the fur; pulling it to his body he curled around it. He was crying for her. It seemed when he broke she attacked like he was a wounded animal. When he fell she kicked him and he fought to crawl back to her out of love. Nothing broke that love even now that she had broke his heart and left him alone, he still loved. He loved her as much as the moment he first saw her, first touched her, when he’d put that ring on her finger and vowed to never leave, to be a better man. That love still burned inside with the anguish, the bleeding wound that was left of his heart when she was through with him.
Snake left the coat intent on going out to find his princess and ask her to come home. Standing slowly he wavered gritting his teeth from the burn in his abdomen. He needed her and pain wasn’t going to stop him. He stumbled heading for the bedroom to dress and fell. Snake went down shaking. The seizures were coming again from all the cocaine. As his eye rolled back he cried out for her momentarily forgetting he was alone. The blood started to trickle from his nose dotting the carpet beside his face. It pooled in his throat and he coughed causing blood to spill across his lips. He called out to her again gurgling and choking on his own blood. That’s when he remembered the look on her face and her words. He needed her by his side to fight but she had left and with her his strength. Straining his broken and weak body he rolled to his stomach and the suffocation ceased. Snake lay gasping for air and watching the puddle form in the carpet. He was too weak to move and the exhaustion was taking control. The blackness came with a faded image one of a hand on his shoulder, a calm soothing voice telling him he would be alright, a kiss on the cheek. He prayed it would come before the darkness took over. Snake fought mumbling her name and again there was no reply as he slid into the inky darkness of unconsciousness.
Continued from here. During this one and before this one Lyrics "Hold Me Now" - The Thompson Twins
