call_me_snake | Tea and Dogs (For laws_of

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: Gotham

Entry tags:

Tea and Dogs (For laws_of_dawes)

Snake mixed up a batch of the tea herb Xena had given him when he was shot that helped ease him and get him to sleep. It was the least he could do. The offer of taking the gang out for a walk sealed the deal. He was stressed lately and just getting out for a walk with the dogs would be nice.

Snake loaded up Zena, Rusty, Daisy and Sarge in the Humvee and headed out. It was a short drive over to her place. Once outside he called up to tell Rachel he was outside. He let the four dogs out to explore the sidewalk while he waited. They all had collars but no leashes.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Snake sat down with her and let the dogs wander. He sighed and shrugged helplessly almost. I don't know. Maybe she'll come home on our anniversary like last year.

"Maybe she will," Rachel agreed quietly, watching the dogs run around freely, surprised they took to Shadow. "Hang in there, Snake. I know that's easy to say, but there's nothing else we can do, is there?"

I hope she brings our son back with her if she does. There were rare occasions when Snake seemed vulnerable. This was one of the.

No. I let her go home to be happy and to be free. No matter how much I miss her that's what matters.

It kind of broke her heart, to see a man so strong and put together look very lost. She had no words that would ever make a difference. Nothing that could make it better. So much of his life was filled with ghosts and anger, grievances and injustice, and there he was, still alive. Rachel remembered then and there she would never resent the life she got.

"I've been told that it never stops hurting. But it hurts a little less with time. And we learn to live with it. And maybe that's okay."

No. It doesn't. Snake went quiet for a moment watching the dogs and pointedly looking away.

I have a photographic memory and Post Traumatic. Nothing ever dulls for me. Snake smiled a little though still sadly when he looked over at her. Yours though, yours'll get better with time.

She didn't know what to say to that. She would change so many things if she could, so he'd never have to go through what he goes through. But it never did any good, to wish for impossible things.

"I hope so," she said, a lopsided grin breathing life into her face - genuine, heartfelt, hopeful - "there is still so much to be done. So many promises I've made, so much that is still in need of saving. Ever since I was a little girl, Snake, seeing a better Gotham has been my ambition. I love it deeply. It's not past saving."

I understand that. Snake looked over at her pushing away thoughts of his wife.

I grew up, raised to fight for America. My whole family was military in one way or another. When my squadron was betrayed I thought there was nothing left. Took sometime to remember a country isn't the people who lead it but what it stands for. Few idiots in power can't change that as long as people still believe.

"That's exactly it," she breathed, blinking back a swell of emotions. "What we stand for, what it's always stood for. I wanted to be a lawyer ever since I was ten. My childhood friend watched his parents get murdered. Wonderful people, who believed in what you and I do. Shot to death. It was senseless, and happening all around. I knew I had to make a difference, however small that difference it may be, but it was necessary that I do it. And as long as I remember that, I remember what I'm fighting for, I'll be okay. Shoulder it on."

Edited 2008-09-05 02:42 (UTC)

I've watched too many die. Snake sighed and pulled his legs up to lean on. I loved war. Thought it was all heroics and being important. We were clearing a Russian town once in a blizzard. We took up in a house and this little boy came walking out in almost nothing. I ran up to him. It was stupid. The boy was bleeding. His own people wired him with an explosive that would detonate when his pulse stopped. We tried to save the boy. He died two minuted after we got the bomb unwired.

Snake shook his head. Before that I never thought a government would ever turn on their own. That one moment burned me out. Never wanted to fight again. And here I am, still fighting.

Rachel swallowed thickly. Could see the vivid memory of his underneath her eyelids, and it was almost past bearing. "A woman was shot in the head just because she was standing next to me," Rachel said, looking down at her hands, fingers playing with each other like webs. "It was a warning sent for me, but she was standing so close she got it instead. My co-worker was killed in my office last month. A little girl I made a promise to concerning locking up her father, died inside a burning house because of said father."

"Each and every time this happens, there's this moment - it's very small, and very fleeting, but there it is - " she broke away, just a little. "Where I want to fold. And stop seeing. But here I am, still...fighting. Why do you think this is so?"

I know how that goes baby. After... Snake paused fighting back memories. After I was discharged they hunted down everyone I knew and killed them. If I talked to someone too much they'd die. Death isn't easy when it's close to you. Worse when you see it.

Snake shrugged thoughtfully. I don't know about you but I keep going because I know they want me to roll over and die. They want me to give up because I survived something they didn't want me to. No survivors is what it says in the classified shit. Taylor, myself and two others made it back. We've all suffered for not dying. Hell'll freeze over before I give them anything.

"Death is all around us," Rachel said, barely a whisper. Her hands fisted into the grass, shooting another glance at Shadow and the rest of them. Certain of their place, she focuses on her thoughts. "What happened to you is just another reason of what's wrong in this world, and why it's so important to change it. Why it needs people that care and will fight the good fight. And as long as you don't give them what they want then they don't win."

The problem with that is the people who do fight for right are usually marked as criminals. It's dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

Snake sighed and whistled for the dogs to come join them. It's true. You're the only one who can let your enemies win. No one else can but plenty of people can help fight them.

Rachel smiled at Shadow as the dog nearly topped over into her knees. She scratched the back of its ears tenderly before turning back to Snake. "I just know I couldn't live with myself if I ever did stop so I don't really have a choice."

Snake's dogs laid near him but Sarge all but crawled into his lap.

I did stop once. Before I met my wife. I wanted to just be a normal guy for once. The cops took my girlfriend told me to turn myself in and they'd let her go. They didn't. She was strapped in the electric chair when they took me in. I had to break her out. I know there is no sense of stopping. No one'll give me peace anyway.

Snake scratched Sarge's head absently while he spoke.

"That's all I'd like for you too," Rachel admitted, mimicking Snake's movements to Sarge with Shadow. "Peace. Resolution. Closure. I know it's not my fault, I know it doesn't help any, but I am sorry, Snake. For everything."

I've given up on it. Snake shrugged as he let Sarge lay his head on his lap.

I used to be sorry for it. Too much has piled up for me to do that now.

Rachel hesitated, briefly, before placing her hand on the length of his upper arm. "I think we'll all be just fine, Snake."

Snake looked over at her but didn't say anything. He didn't believe he would be alright any longer. Can hope for it.

"At the end of the day," Rachel said, feeling more like herself already, "there is nothing wrong with hope."

Snake frowned trying hard not to get down now that she was feeling better. You don't want me to answer that.

Rachel sighed. "I know what you would say, and I understand why you would say it." Deep lines creased her forehead. "I'm trying to find a balance between hope and realism. I really am. I am trying to prepare for the worst, but I don't find it wrong to hope for the best."

Do you? Snake shook his head. For once I'm not talking about ideas.

"If it's not about ideas, then I can't be entirely certain." She regarded him with a thoughtful expression. "You can tell me anything you'd like. We've agreed and disagreed, argued in the past and we're still here, right?"

Snake went quiet not because he wasn't going to say anything but because it was hard to.

The first little girl I adopted was Hope. Not just her name and not just some bullshit about family. She was Hope the virtue.

Snake paused and shook his head because to anyone that would sound insane. I know it sounds insane.

Hope betrayed my family, left us, nearly destroyed us because, mostly, I left my wife go home. Even more so when I started seeing my fiance. I was in Arkham being tortured to keep the cops from her and the family when she started on things I can't forgive. It turned so bad I threw her out of the family.

Snake shrugged. I didn't have hope before that . Now I don't even trust it. Now you know why I got nothing optimistic.

Tea and Dogs (For laws_of_dawes)

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject